Before exams I was on ‘holiday’. I put it in inverted commas because I was supposed to be on training camp, but can’t train since my knee is broken. I’d already booked flights, and so had Xe, so we hopped onto a plane to Porto and went to enjoy the sun for a week. Oh the stories that  came from this trip!

I’m going to start by relaying our day in the wonderful city of Porto.

Xanthe had planned out a lovely route for us, which included all sorts of fun tourist attractions. We would get off the bus at a preplanned stop, and the day would go from there.

The first issue we encountered was that the bus we got on didn’t stop at the designated place. We coasted through Porto and ended up in ‘downtown’.

Not to worry though- we had our list of places to visit so all was going to be well! We set off back in the direction we’d come to look for site one on our list- the ‘crazily decorated church’.

Half an hour of walking later we were in the area! The next 15 minutes were spent searching google maps and walking round in circles. Eventually I decided to search for churches near us, and we walked to the nearest one. It wasn’t the right one.

No matter! Xe took over directions again and we set off towards the impressive park. Needless to say, we managed to miss the massive grassy area too. When we did eventually find it, it became very apparent that there was only one entrance, and it was at the top of the huge hill.

Having adequately explored the park (sat on a bench, then almost fell off the big Porto sign) we chose to completely ignore the fact that there wasn’t an exit at the bottom of the park, and went to look for an exit near the bottom of the park. Needless to say, we had to wak back up the huge hill to get out.

Never mind! We ploughed onwards to the wonderfully advertised food market! Trip advisor assured us this was the place to be and that it was really worth a visit. We went. It wasn’t.

That’s ok! Our next and final stop was a famous wine and appetiser restaurant. We took a break to figure out how to get there, where Xanthe promptly informed me that it opened at 3 (it was 1:30) and that the church was actually about 100m away from where we got off the bus.

We changed our lunch plans and had a thoroughly enjoyable meal fuelled by cheap wine, and even managed to successfully find the church! Having actually achieved some of what we set out to do, we thought we should cut our losses and head home. Off we went back to the bus stop.

We waited. And waited. And waited. And then the number 11 drove straight past us. I’m not really sure why, but we thought it was a good idea to sprint after it. So we ran like idiot English tourists down the road in an attempt to flag the bus down at the next stop.

It drove past.

We sprinted some more and somehow managed to get on the bus, which was promptly populated by obnoxiously loud European tourists. Finally they all get off and the bus empties. We arrive at our stop and plod back to the hotel, exhausted by our day of shenanigans. We head into the hotel lobby, and there are the 15 loud European tourists that had filled our bus just a minute ago.

They stole all the hotel wifi.


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