Today, I went to my locker in college. I opened it using my key (as you do), got my things, and locked it again. I then reached up on top of the locker to make sure I’d put my keys back in my pocket. I couldn’t feel them. I stood on my tiptoes to make sure they weren’t sat there. They weren’t.

Fast forward to 30 minutes later when I’ve hopped off the bus and I’m walking the 120 seconds to my front door. I reach into my pocket, and I can’t feel my keys. I spend all of the 120 second walk aggressively searching through my pocket for my keys and, by the time I reach my front door, I realise they’re not there.

Bum.

I ring the doorbell. None of my housemates are in.

Bum.

I text my flat group, to ask if anyone is in Putney or in college. I begin walking across the bridge because I’m pretty sure my friend is at home.

I suddenly get a text from Ben saying he’s on his way home. I ask if he’s close and start walking back towards my house. He’s not close. He’s still in mech eng.

Bum.

He goes to check where my keys are. They’re not there.

Bum.

I turn back towards my friend’s house. He texts me. He’s not there.

Bum.

I walk back to my house. An hour has now passed. I empty the contents of my back pack out onto the street damp street. Did I mention it’s been raining the whole day? Oh look. There are my keys.

Why do I do things?